7 Signs You Don't Trust Yourself (And What to Do About It)

On average, we make roughly between 33,000 - 35,000 choices (both conscious and subconscious) every single day. Making choices is such a huge foundational part of life and how we live it, that without it we’re stuck - frozen in time.

So when you’re dealing with that special burden of not being able to trust yourself it can be overwhelming, and it sucks 'cause there’s always a decision lurking around the corner waiting for you.

I’ve been through periods where I didn’t trust myself or my judgment in my personal or professional life. I knew that my lack of self-trust was due to the traumas I had experienced from others, and the bad outcomes of the choices or mistakes that I made.

And because I didn't want to ever find myself in the same or similar circumstances again, I gave the keys to my decision-making power to someone else that I felt was more knowledgeable, capable, or more experienced in life than myself.

But I soon discovered that their decisions for my life were no better than my own.

When you lack self-trust, you hand over control of your life, letting doubt and fear dictate your actions resulting in missed opportunities, stifled potential, endless frustration, and an overall deep sense of fear and dissatisfaction.

And with every choice that you let someone else make for your life, you chip away at the very foundation of your decision-making ability, and undermine who you are.

Sometimes it can be difficult to be aware that you’re even lacking self-trust because you think that you’re just getting input from everyone so you can make a more informed decision. But what’s really happening is your struggle with a deep abiding fear that you’ll end up making a bad choice.

If you find yourself wondering if you’re actually struggling with trusting yourself here are the top 7 signs:

1. Seeking Validation

You get caught in a loop of asking for others knowledge about even the smallest of decisions you’ve made. This puts your hesitation to trust your own instincts on blast and can sometimes attract power grabbers that see an opportunity to control you.

2. Consensus Crutching

Relying on everyone else’s opinions can look like needing nods of approval from friends, family, and sometimes even strangers not realizing that your search for a collective agreement rather than your personal convictions will have you pulled in several different directions at once.

3. Decision Procrastination

When you sidestep making choices, scared that you might make a wrong turn, you’re actually making a choice to delay moving forward with the experience of life, and everything comes to a screeching halt, creating a domino effect of disaster.

4. Disconnecting From Yourself

Putting your inner voice on mute or turning down the volume on your insights, desires, or needs can make you feel disconnected from yourself and from what truly matters to you.

5. Underestimating Your Value

When you give your instincts a discount or you markdown your gut thoughts and feelings in favor of some else’s seemingly more “credible” advice, you sell yourself short in other areas of your life and also set someone else up to take the blame for any bad outcome, which costs you more in the end.

6. Gambling With Guilt

Dealing with the guilt and fear that comes from a bad outcome or struggling with post-decision guilt can gnaw away at you so badly that you bet against your own choices, worried that each decision made might be a mistake, and life begins to feel like a losing game.

7. Comparing Your Choices to Others

More times than not, you find yourself riding the merry-go-round of comparison, swinging you relentlessly away from steady ground. And even though you’re sick of the ride, you struggle to step off because you believe that someone else’s choice is always better than yours.

Here’s the catch.  When you opt-in to letting someone else make your decisions for you... You’re still making a choice! 

Like it or not, you’re choosing to honor someone else’s choice, and not your own. And it proves that you don't trust yourself.

However YOU can break the cycle and make a change! When you learn to trust yourself, it frees you to live authentically, take risks, learn more about yourself and this world, and seize the moments that truly bring you joy and fulfillment.

Life is a wild ride. There’s no way to avoid it.

But choosing to consciously practice self-trust upgrades your ability to make choices that match with your true self and what’s important to you.

And as you learn to depend on your inner compass to navigate life’s challenges, something else happens that’s pretty cool experience.

You build your own strength, resilience, and agility, and you come to know yourself in a whole new light.

The authentic you.

Which is the best gift of all.