What your answers describe
Am I in a Trauma Bond? · Forgiveness+
forgiveness.plus/am-i-in-a-trauma-bond
Free, private self-assessment
Am I in a trauma bond?
Twenty questions in four parts, about four minutes. You'll see where the bond is anchored in your life: in the mood of the house, in your own memory, in how hard you work to defend yourself, and in what keeps you there. No score. No label.
Nothing you check is saved, stored, or sent. Close the tab and it's gone.
- AThe weather system
- BThe record
- CThe trial
- DThe anchor points
- +After it ended
Free, tonight
The Sealed Page
A one-page exercise you can use tonight, and a note the morning the book comes out. Nothing in between.
Signing up adds your email to the DETACH list. Your answers here aren't sent with it, or anywhere.
The map · Book · October 22, 2026
How to DETACH
Breaking the Trauma Bond After It's Over
Forty days of writing your way out of the rooms you couldn't speak your way out of.
See DETACH
For the people beside her
For Those Who Love Her
For the friend, sister, or parent watching someone they love stay. Arrives the same day as DETACH.
See the book
Another lens · 3 minutes
The Grace Check
If something still feels off, this maps where the pressure sits in you, whoever it's coming from.
Take the Grace Check
Want the longer story behind these questions? It wasn't love. It was a trauma bond. Taking this for someone else? For Those Who Love Her is written for you.
Only keep a printed or saved copy if it's safe for you to. This is a reflection tool, not a diagnosis, and it doesn't replace a therapist or an advocate. If you're in danger, call 911. National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788. If you're thinking about ending your life, call or text 988.
How this works
Where it's anchored, and nothing more.
A trauma bond rarely lives in one place. It shows up in the mood of the house, in whose memory wins, in how much of you goes into defending yourself, and in the things that keep you there. The four parts follow those four places, so you can see which ones are carrying the weight.
01 // What you'll see
Each part comes back as one of three descriptions: not a pattern, worth your attention, or consistent with a trauma bond. The questions you checked come back too, so you can see exactly what you recognized.
02 // What it won't do
No diagnosis, no score, no severity ranking. It's a reflection tool written in everyday language, and it doesn't replace a therapist, an advocate, or your own judgment.
03 // Where your answers go
Nowhere. Everything runs in this tab. Nothing is written to your device, and nothing is sent to us.
04 // Taking it for someone else?
The questions are written to her. If you're the one watching someone you love stay, For Those Who Love Her was written for you.
GraceOS™ · layer 01, Notice Next: DETACH, the forty-day map out.